when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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