Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
