i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
