You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
