I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
