im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
