You work out of a Hotel?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
