Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
