No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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