Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
