they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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