Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
