Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
