I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
