the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
