he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize