im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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