just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
