Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
