i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize