We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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