sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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