oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
