So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
no, he came in my armpit
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
