You just made me feel so damn special
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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