sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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