Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
