Rock
Scissors
Fuck
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize