I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
