i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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