I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
