nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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