and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
