what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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