I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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