Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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