Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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