Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
