I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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