Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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