Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
