White coat. Heels.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
