I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize