it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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