Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
