u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize