Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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