oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
