So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
