What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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