how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
