Who wears a wallet chain?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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