i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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