Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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