Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
