The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
worst night to have a conscience
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize