i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
