You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
