I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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