went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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