What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
