i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
