so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just invented taco cereal.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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