You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize