Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do vagina's smell?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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