I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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