Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
