dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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